toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I want to have your abortion
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
