apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
