you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
