Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
