a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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