oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm like, not good at living.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
