You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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