I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
