That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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