But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize