At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
