So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
