so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
