Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
