you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize