Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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