there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize