For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
