Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
