i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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