At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
