Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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