He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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