dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize