remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
