So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
