I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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