It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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