He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
