Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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