After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I pour the whiskey from now on
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
