good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
