I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
