I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
