The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
