2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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