Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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