there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Send help, water and tortillas.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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