Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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