I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How does it feel to date your dad?
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