.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
