Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
