Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
