no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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