Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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