just tell him i said nine months
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
