Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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