Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize