smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
