i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
