Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
