A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
