She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
