the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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