I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
