Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I have tasted many bathrooms
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
