You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
