i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
