So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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