Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
