3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
