yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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