The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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