I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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