I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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