we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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