Whod you bang
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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