Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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