Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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