i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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