Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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